What’s Hot Right Now
I’m going to tell you What’s Hot Right Now.[i],[ii]
Maybe you wear a patterned shirt. You think it’s hot, you think it’s in.
You’ve seen magazines. You’ve got ideas about what “hot” is (red, off-blue, small cups, medium-sized dogs).
Or you’ve got a friend—Carol.
You think maybe she knows.
Carol’s got a zebra shirt with tassels. She knows how to vintage shop and wear boots from the ‘70s.
Carol knows what’s hot, you think.
Carol doesn’t know.
I know because I whisper to the trees and I hear things come out of the ground. The swirls in the sky aren’t just for looking.
The Gospel of Hot:
1. Hot comes in groups of three.
2. What is hot is not forever.
3. It is impossible to say what will be hot in the future, only what is hot at present.
4. #3 is sometimes not true.
5. Some things, like avocados, will always be hot.
Hot Right Now is neither an art nor a science.
It is not something Oprah tells you to do.
It is not a carefully itemized list of to-die-for sweaters or must-have beach balls.
It is not plateware put forward by Target.
No, it cannot be contained by category, nor imprisoned by the constructs of human language, or thought.
To know what it is Hot Right Now, you must submit yourself to the Hot inherent to the universe.
You must look out.
Really, look out, right now, and let the world wash over you.
Place your spirit with the wind, with dogs looking at you, and with summertime air.
Let yourself be.
Imagine that you are connecting to the original source of all that is Hot:
The BIG bang.
As you do, you begin to realize that Hot was there before the Big Bang.
There’s a multiverse of Hot.
The only thing out there is Hot.
The only thing that matters is Hot.
And then BAM
It is revealed
“What Is Hot Right Now”
...Life will never be the same.
Are you ready?
To be one of the ones?
To join the ranks?
To really know?
To really know yourself?
To see yourself for the first time, like a desert snake slithering over a mirror?
Ok, I’ll tell you.
Or at least you’re more ready than most of the masses (asses).
You now know that this is the most important thing there is.
This will grant you access to that ineffable thing you’ve been searching for. (Does anybody even like meeee?)
Finally, you will understand the meaning of IT all.
I want you to take this information and let it become one with you because once you know it, there’s no turning back…
What’s Hot Right Now:
People named Myrtle
[i] As of 11:34 pm EST, May 20, 2018
[ii] And swim